1. “Your blouse is so colorful. How do you always manage to find such loud clothing?”
2. “Let me see that picture of us again. I look alright for 90, don’t I?”
3. “Our activity director is too talkative and just too friendly.”
4. “I was so surprised to see my grandson walking in to our dining hall with you, and the flowers he was bringing me were lovely, but you all made a scene.”
5. (While watching summer Olympics.) “Those women beach volleyball players are wearing practically nothing. They ought to be ashamed of themselves.”
6. “You can see the butt cheeks of those gymnasts.”
7. “Why do they give medals to people riding on horses? They just sit there! It’s the horses that do all the work.”
8. “Oh, since you have your phone out, let me see that picture of us again.”
9. “See that woman with the walker? The one with the black pants with the pink stripe? Sometimes she wears animal print pants! And look at her toenails! They are orange! It’s crazy! She is too old for orange toenails.”
10. “Fruit fluff? That’s dessert? I don’t know what that is, but it looks like it has red jello in it.”
11. “Let me see your bracelet. Is it real gold? Fourteen karat? ” (It is.) “Your husband wouldn’t spend that kind of money on you.”
12. “Why did you take me to Target? I don’t like Target. Your sister likes Target. I have never liked Target. WalMart is better. I like WalMart. Target had no slippers in extra-wide, but WalMart did. Don’t ever take me to Target again.”
13. “Can you afford to take me out to lunch again?”
14. “How much was my cup of coffee?” ($1.89 at the diner.) “Why are they charging so much for coffee?”
15. “Let me see that picture of me again.”
Monica Lists 