Things That This Weekend’s Two Biggest Pests–The Ants in My Dishwasher and The Scam Artists Who Claimed To Be Phoning From Microsoft –Have In Common, The List:

~ monicalists

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  1. Both wanted free access to a device I depend upon daily.

  2. Both were bothering me with multiple encounters.

  3. Both were tenacious as hell.

  4. Both were pissing me off.

  5. Neither ones were native speakers of English.

  6. Neither ones were phased by my yelling at them in Polish.

  7. The scammers wanted to fix my laptop’s bugs, and ants ARE bugs.

  8. Both thought I was stupid enough to let them take advantage of me.

  9. I want all of them to meet a slow, painful end…but the ants were the only ones I could poison.

  10. I want to squash all of them dead.

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