Month: October 2017

Things I Learned About College Boy During His Fall Break Visit Home, The List:

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  1. He carries no cash at all in his wallet.  None.  Zippo.
  2. He doesn’t trust the washing machines on campus, which explains why he brought home all his dirty black tee-shirts which he laundered with our machine and our detergent and our fabric softener.
  3. Right before break, he changed the sheets on his bed.  For the first time all semester.
  4. His roommate has yet to change his sheets.
  5. The framed posters that were so difficult to transport on move-in day?  Still leaning against a wall in his room.
  6. He has given up eating dessert, and instead is adding calories via protein shakes.
  7. The only meal he ever prepares in the well-equipped-by-Mom kitchen of his on-campus apartment is breakfast.  And breakfast is always a bowl of cereal.
  8. He wants to find a job over winter break, because he doesn’t want to be a drain on his parents’ financial assets.
  9. He wants to spend next semester abroad, because he sometimes doesn’t mind being a drain on his parents’ financial assets.
  10. He doesn’t fear being seen at Toys R Us with his mother, as long as we stay in the aisle with the Hot Wheels and other collectible cars.
  11. He apparently has friends who like to tease him with gag gifts like “poop emoji” hats.
  12. He apparently has sense enough to know that “poop emoji” hats are ridiculous, and are best left on the floor of a closet at home, where Mom can discover said hat and get a good solid laugh.

Things That Happen When Beloved Husband Accompanies Me On A Mega-Shopping Trip to Sam’s Club, The List:

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  1. We select a jumbo-sized bag of Halloween candy that does NOT include any of Husband’s favorites, because that candy needs to last until the Trick-or-Treaters come.
  2. Even though Husband swears his pumpkin-carving days are behind him now that the children are grown, he helps me choose a jumbo-sized pumpkin with plenty of smooth surface area.
  3. I play the role of dainty wife and coquettishly ask Husband to push the cart because he is so much stronger than I am.
  4. Husband deliberates the best way to arrange bulky paper products in the cart.
  5. Husband rolls his eyes when I carefully inspect the eggs inside the carton.
  6. Husband re-arranges all the paper products yet again, since he now has to accommodate the fragile eggs.
  7. Husband dutifully picks out the best roasted chicken, and offers no complaints about roasted chicken for tonight’s supper.
  8. After adding several cases of beverages to the cart, Husband once again re-arranges all the contents with mathematical precision.
  9. Husband selects a two-year supply of toothbrushes, because why not?  It’s not like toothbrushes are going to go stale.
  10. Husband wanders off to look at sparkly Christmas lights.
  11. Husband grumbles that once our items are on the cash register belt, he will never be able to put them back in the cart the same way.
  12. Competent cashier does not even remove most of our items from the cart, so Husband is satisfied.
  13. Upon arrival at our car, Husband segregates groceries into categories, so that soap products will not touch the produce items during the five minute drive home.
  14. Husband packs the trunk with mathematical precision.
  15. I plop the pumpkin in one back seat and toss the bread products onto the other seat.
  16. I secure the egg carton in a blanket.
  17. Husband warns me that before we can eat the chicken, everything must be unpacked and put away.
  18. While Beloved Husband hauls all the paper products and beverage bottles to our downstairs storage area in multiple trips, I make sure the eggs are safely placed inside the refrigerator.  Then I secretly begin to nibble on the chicken.giphy

Things That Are Wonderful About Gainfully Employed Daughter’s Job At A Cidery, The List:

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  1. Due to our society’s growing thirst for high-quality libations, the craft beverage business is booming, which means Daughter is receiving promotions and pay raises.  (And benefits.  Love those benefits! Always grateful for a job with benefits!)
  2. Due to our society’s growing thirst for high-quality libations, the craft beverage business is booming, and now Daughter is gaining lots of management experience, so she will probably always be able to get a job in this industry.  (Thank you to all of you out there who visit local wineries, breweries, distilleries, and such.  You know who you are.  Cheers!)
  3. Daughter gets free tastings when she visits other craft beverage establishments.  A professional courtesy, apparently.  And some of these fine places even give a free tasting to the person with her, which often happens to be me.
  4. Going to other craft beverage establishments with Daughter takes on a whole new layer of enjoyment, since her ever-sensitive palate allows her to point out new flavors to me.  (OK, I admit, it always tastes even better when it’s free of charge.)
  5. Daughter, by necessity, now holds an ABC license,  so she tacitly keepsher parents  her father in check.
  6. She meets lovely customers every day, whether she is giving them a tour or pouring them a tasting or a full flight. Because, let’s face it, it’s a cidery, and people go there with the intention of getting relaxed and happy.  (And the more relaxed and happy they are, the better they tip.)
  7. Cidery employees get to sample the goods for free.  And often get free leftovers from the food trucks.
  8. Business attire is not required.
  9. The cidery is only a 75 minute drive from our home, and the cidery is located near museums and breweries and restaurants, so it’s easy to invent an excuse as to why her father and I “just happen” to be in the neighborhood, and “just happen” to be craving cider.  Because, you know, we miss our baby girl.
  10. Daughter knows more about apples than anyone else in the entire family and our circle of friends.  And considering how she refused to eat apples through all of middle and high school, this makes me chuckle.
  11. I can now call her and ask for a recommendation about the best beverage to serve with dinner.
  12. Instead of yet another scented candle or box of tea or bottle of bubble bath, I now get cider for Mother’s Day and for my birthday.  And hopefully, for Christmas, too.
  13. Cider is delicious.