Things I Learned About College Boy During His Fall Break Visit Home, The List:

~ monicalists

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  1. He carries no cash at all in his wallet.  None.  Zippo.
  2. He doesn’t trust the washing machines on campus, which explains why he brought home all his dirty black tee-shirts which he laundered with our machine and our detergent and our fabric softener.
  3. Right before break, he changed the sheets on his bed.  For the first time all semester.
  4. His roommate has yet to change his sheets.
  5. The framed posters that were so difficult to transport on move-in day?  Still leaning against a wall in his room.
  6. He has given up eating dessert, and instead is adding calories via protein shakes.
  7. The only meal he ever prepares in the well-equipped-by-Mom kitchen of his on-campus apartment is breakfast.  And breakfast is always a bowl of cereal.
  8. He wants to find a job over winter break, because he doesn’t want to be a drain on his parents’ financial assets.
  9. He wants to spend next semester abroad, because he sometimes doesn’t mind being a drain on his parents’ financial assets.
  10. He doesn’t fear being seen at Toys R Us with his mother, as long as we stay in the aisle with the Hot Wheels and other collectible cars.
  11. He apparently has friends who like to tease him with gag gifts like “poop emoji” hats.
  12. He apparently has sense enough to know that “poop emoji” hats are ridiculous, and are best left on the floor of a closet at home, where Mom can discover said hat and get a good solid laugh.

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