1. “Did your daughter take her boyfriend to see Chicago? No? How can you come to America and not see Chicago? Oh, she took him to Washington? Oh, I suppose that’s probably considered an important city since it is the capital and all that.”

2. “Is her boyfriend Catholic? Yes? Oh, I am so glad. It’s better to be Catholic.”

3. “The parish sent over people today with Holy Communion. My friends say we have to pay them for that next time they come.”

4. “Oh, so the girlfriend and the boyfriend both liked the barszcz (Polish beet root soup) you made for them? They must have been hungry, because people will eat anything if they are hungry enough.”