- “Aren’t you showing too much cleavage in that blouse?”
- (Pointing to my red-orange purse.) “You picked out that purse? You don’t like beige?”
- “The Chinese buffet is the best place to eat in town. Everyone can pick whatever they like and eat as much as they like.”
- (A few hours later…) “The Chinese buffet wasn’t very good today. Maybe because it’s Thursday. The best cooks probably work on Sundays.”
- “Your husband has lost weight. He looks good.”
- “It’s so good that your daughter isn’t fat.”
- “You and your sister are too fat.”
- “Did you get enough to eat? That salad has no meat on it.”
- “I hope your daughter finds a nice man to marry soon. Because you know, in another three years, her looks will be gone.”
- (Brushing my bangs off my forehead.) “I know your hair is bothering you. I can just tell it’s bothering you. You should wear your bangs like I do, off to the side.”
- (Brushing her hand across the top of my chest.) “There are too many designs on your blouse.”
- (Brushing her hand under my eyebrows.) “Your makeup has too many sparkles in it.”
- (Pointing to my hands.) “You like that nail polish color?”
- (Referring to granddaughters.) “Why do they wear jeans with holes and rips in them when they come to visit me? They show me no respect when they come dressed like that.”
- “I keep my mouth closed and covered when I go outside, because wind is bad for the heart.”
- (Pointing at me.) “You’re wearing too summer-y of an outfit.”
- “Why are all these women reporters on TV wearing dresses with no sleeves? It’s an ugly fashion trend.”
- (As I was getting ready to walk across the street to the Dunkin Donuts for a coffee.) “Watch out when you cross the street. Look both ways.”
- “I heard on the news that if you drink coffee, you will live for a very long time. I am drinking more coffee now.”
Monica Lists 