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Throwback to July 9, 2012

10. The stage is so much smaller than it appears to be on TV.

9. You will pass through several checkpoints, where young, beautiful, and peppy CBS employees will repeatedly ask you to show your driver’s license and give a “password.”

8. Bodyguards who look like they walked off the set of the “Sopranos” stand around the edges of the stage.

7. Dave takes off his regular glasses and puts on reading glasses when he reads the Top Ten list, but switches back to regular glasses as soon as the camera comes back on him. And if he really messes up while reading a cue card, he will ask for a re-take.

6. Dave and his guest (Emma Stone) chat during the promoted-movie clip, and never really watch the clip.

5. Parts of the stage, like the backgrounds, need to be taken apart and moved to bring in props and/or equipment for the guest band.

4. Dave’s warm-up comedian and other writers stand around Dave’s desk during the commercial breaks and nod and laugh and hang on every word Dave says.

3. Prior to entering the theater, you will be given a lecture on how to act: no whistling, no woo-woo-ing, no cameras or phones, applaud very often, and– my favorite– laugh first, think later.

2. Your place in line does not determine your seats, since you will be shuffled around repeatedly and assigned a “group,” likely based on your age. The pretty 20-30-somethings in the line, seemingly, were all given seats on the main floor, whereas the fans who have been watching Dave for longer than some of these kids have been alive were assigned balcony seats. That would include us, and most of those around us. Then again, the tickets were free, so I should not complain, I suppose.

1. And, the number one thing we learned while being audience members at the Late Show: if the weather is bad/threatens to be bad, CBS will rent the Three Monkeys Bar around the corner where you wait for 2 hours alongside fellow “older” audience members and buy a few drinks in the meantime so you can be “liquored-up” and giggly when the cameras roll.