Throwback to September 26, 2013, when Husband was away on business in Australia

1. I am using his favorite mug.

2. I am using his pillow.

3. I am not yet using his toothbrush although the thought did cross my mind.

4. I have grown to be very comfortable in the smack dab middle of the bed.

5. I have called his office on the flimsiest pretense, just to see if the administrative assistant heard from him today (she hadn’t).

6. The default clock on my I Pad is set for Sydney time.

7. I have stopped cooking, and I don’t mind having Trader Joe wraps for supper.

8. Youngest Child is always hungry, since I have stopped cooking and there are no leftovers and he doesn’t care for Trader Joe wraps.

9. I planned the “welcome home” feast even before Husband left the airport.

10. I looked for Vegemite at Kroger. They were out. (And seriously, who is buying that stuff?)

11. My earworm is “Down Under” by Men at Work.

12. I have consumed a disproportionate amount of chocolate.

13. Even pumpkin-spiced lattes don’t taste good when my baby’s not around. Without him, my world is “upside down.”

14. No one is here to stop me from writing sentimental drivel.

Throwback to September 22, 2015, when my morning duty at the high school included monitoring the drop-off lane.

1. Use a hammer to smash the phone of every parent who uses his/her phone while driving in this area.

2. Mandate that above-mentioned parents hold a conversation with their offspring– seated in the car–versus someone on the other end of the phone.

3. Use a sledgehammer to smash the windshields of drivers who honk at school buses.

4. Mandate that above-mentioned “honkers” pass the tests necessary to become a school bus driver.

5. Use a paint-ball gun to splatter a myriad of colors onto the cars of drivers in this area who speed, make U-turns, and do not use turn signals.

6. Mandate that above-mentioned drivers take Behind The Wheel classes alongside high school students.

7. Use an extra-large can of scarlet-red spray paint to mark an “F” (for “Fool”) on the hoods of the cars of parents who drop their children off in the right-hand turn lanes, versus designated drop-off lanes.

8. Mandate that the above-mentioned Fools write reflective essays about the value of their children’s safety versus the value of being on-time for work.

9. Use a gigantic, ear-drum-popping megaphone to yell at drivers who do not yield to student pedestrians, most of whom are using a cross-walk.

10. Mandate that above-mentioned “non-yielders” spend every rainy day of the school year acting as crossing guards while wearing neon outfits which are non-waterproof and itchy. #angermanagementissues #safetyfirst

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Make mine a double! Today’s cocktail is appropriate for two current events.

1. For the past several days, I have felt like banging my head against the wall over all the utter stupidity and egocentrism displayed by the White House’s current inhabitant. No regard for science, no regard for the safety of people around him, no regard for the over 207,000 Americans that have died of CoVid-19 so far. Please, America, keep wearing your masks and keep a decent physical distance away from strangers! Please! I am already several sips into my cocktails as I write this, so I need to let it go for tonight and relax. (I am sure the White House will provide more reasons to bang my head against the wall come tomorrow morning. Vote, everyone, please vote.)
2. We heard a short time ago that rock legend/ supreme guitarist Eddie Van Halen has died. Forlorn Husband is blasting Eddie’s music even as I type this. Eddie may have been labeled a “head banger” by some, but he was a musical genius. May he rest in peace.

Today’s drink is my version of the Head Banger Cocktail. In a shaker half-filled with ice, combine 1 1/2 ounces Tennessee whiskey (I used the rye whiskey that we purchased 2 weekends ago at Tennessee Hills Distillery in Jonesborough, TN), 1 1/2 ounces peach brandy, and several drops of bitters (I used craft bitters that are a blend of oak and hibiscus). Shake well, and strain into an Old Fashioned glass.