Throwback to January 24, 2016

1. There is no extra help in sweeping the snow off the cars.

2. I have no decent excuse to make a large pot of hot chocolate.

3. There is no extra help in clearing the sidewalk.

4. No one is around to make sled tracks on the hill behind the house.

5. There is no extra help in shoveling the driveway.

6. The only snowball target around is Husband.

7. There is no extra help in pushing the snow off the deck.

8. There are no piles of wet mittens, wet hats,wet pants, wet coats, and wet boots at the door. OK, never mind, I don’t miss that.

Throwback to January 15, 2016

1. It is legal for 18 year-olds to drink in Ireland.

2. He will be there for St. Patrick’s Day, so he needs to celebrate like an Irishman.

3. TripAdvisor says it’s one of the best tours in Dublin.

4. The trip is just days before his 19th birthday, so his friends can raise a toast to him.

5. He won’t be driving, so he’s not endangering himself or anyone else.

6. He will be marching with the band in the big parade the next day, so he needs the beer to hydrate himself.

7. Learning about the brewing process may come in handy some day in chemistry class.

8. He will never again experience Guinness this fresh and this delicious, so it’s a chance to treat his taste buds.

9. His dad will be so jealous! And yeah, his mom will be so jealous.

10. Oh, why the hell not?!?

Throwback to January 6, 2016

1. The cold air actually wakes me up better than a hot cup of caffeine.

2. It gives me a chance to put my long-neglected glove collection to use.

3. It gives me a chance to show off my collection of berets.

4. Since I stay in constant motion in order to keep warmer, I easily add to the count of steps on my personal-fitness-tracker doohickey-thingie.

5. I can silently snigger at the silliness of students in shorts–I counted 5 pairs this morning.

6. It’s a matter of pride and swagger–I was raised in northwest Indiana, so I can handle any cold temperatures Mother Nature throws at central Virginia.

7. When I snort in righteous anger at the drivers who do not stop for pedestrians, I can see the steam coming out of my nostrils.

Throwback to January 26, 2015

1. Hoodies with the hood pulled up.

2. Knit hats.

3. Knit hats underneath the hoodies with the hood pulled up.

4. LL Bean boots and all the knock-offs.

5. Leggings with big and bold patterns.

6. Leggings with big and bold patterns worn with LL Bean boots.

7. Thick fleece jackets on top, shorts and flip-flops on the bottom. (It’s January, for heaven’s sake, and snow is predicted for tonight!)

Throwback to January 21, 2015.

1. So begins the final semester of the final year for the final child.

2. I am 19/20 of the way there, since our family will have had at least one high school student for ten consecutive years.

3. Hooray! This semester’s grades won’t be used to determine college admission!

4. Bring on the snow days!

5. I am getting little glimpses of that light at the end of this looooooooooong tunnel of teenage-hood.

6. So begins the final semester of free education.

7. Happy? Sad? Sentimental? Relieved? My emotions are all over the place.

Throwback to January 17, 2015

1. The Chinese made exquisite artwork, as evidenced by the Forbidden City exhibit at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts.

2. My favorite artifact was the cloisonné wine goblet and saucer, proving that I enjoy color. And that I enjoy wine.

3. College Girl made fabulous observations at the art museum, so showing that her parents’ investment in her education must be paying off.

4. Millionaire Dollar Quartet is an awesome musical, made even better by a cute Elvis.

5. “Folsom Prison Blues” has some of the best lyrics. Ever.

6. Italian food is yummy. Seafood is yummy. Seafood in an Italian restaurant like Edo Squid is therefore incredible.

7. I love tiramisu.

Throwback to January 8, 2015

1. “Our landlord apparently is only turning on the heat during the night, but I can wear layers and I’ll be fine.”

2. “I woke up early today, like at 10:30 am or so.”

3. “Your dad will be home soon. Start dinner!”

4. “I will text you a list of chores for the day.”

5. “You are not going back to school until all of these Christmas decorations are put away.”

6. “Is there an open bottle of wine somewhere?”

7. “You are not going back to school until all of these thank-you notes are written.”

8. “Arrrgh!” with Eye Roll.

9. “I cannot wait for classes to start.”

10. “Remember, we pay for your life.”

Throwback to January 1, 2015

1. Tourists are everywhere.

2. Key lime pie is available at almost every restaurant.

3. Signs say things like “economy dentures” and “smoke-free bingo.”

4. Sand squishing between your toes on the beach becomes the sand you bring into your car, where it will stay forever.

5. Nothing dries out quickly, whether it be towels or your skin.

6. Every day is senior day at Winn Dixie.

7. Four out of the five of us can legally drink.

8. There is time every evening to play card games.

9. Plenty of polite and law-abiding drivers surround us.

10. The humidity is making our hair full and frizzy.

11. The bourbon at St. Augustine Distillery is not yet ready to be bottled and sold.

12. The cream sherry at the St. Sebastian Winery is ready to be bottled and sold.

13. Forced family togetherness prevails.

Throwback to January 28, 2014

1. Believe it or not, you will learn to clean up vomit, snot, blood, and runny diapers without flinching.

2. Babies are not as fragile as they look. Relax.

3. Sure, those multiple feedings in the middle of the night will prove to be exhausting, but at least you are controlling what he eats. And what he drinks.

4. Your figure? Nope, never going to be the same, so just deal with it.

5. You will learn to discreetly nurse in public.

6. You will allow your husband to touch you again, because he will become even sexier as a diaper-changing daddy.

7. Yes, you will sneak into his room in the middle of the night to make sure he is breathing, and in 18 years when he goes off to college, you will again sneak into his room and stare at the empty bed. And miss him.

8. Inhale that baby-head scent as much as possible, because you cannot replicate it, and the memory of that sweetness will help you get through the harrowing experience of washing his middle school gym uniform.

9. Eventually, your baby becomes Gainfully Employed Son. It will happen. But it’s a really good idea that you have started his college fund already.

10. You will one day be replaced as the number one woman in his life, and strangely, you won’t really mind, because she makes him happy.

11. Couldn’t possibly love this child any more than you do at this moment? Oh, you will.

Throwback to January 16, 2014

1. Ritz crackers.

2. Mail order check re-fills.

3. Dried spaghetti or linguine or any kind of pasta.

4. Girl Scout cookies, although I have forgiven them for that.