Throwback to March 29, 2016

1. Prom proposals are popping up in creative ways, accompanied by posters, bouquets of flowers and/or boxes of donuts, and even a barbershop quartet.

2. The faculty has received the first email about upcoming standardized testing.

3. Tennis rackets and baseball bats are sticking out of backpacks.

4. Lacrosse players are carrying their sticks like royal scepters, with an occasional twirl just to impress the females.

5. Classrooms are running out of Kleenex and hand-sanitizer now that the pollen has triggered bouts of sneezing.

6. Seniors are wearing the sportswear of the colleges that have accepted them for enrollment.

7. Boys are wearing shorts and neon-colored athletic shoes.

8. Girls are wearing short shorts and the most darling little strappy sandals.

9. Teachers are wearing goofy grins and muttering, “It’s almost spring break!”

Throwback to March 26, 2015

1. Buy alcohol.

2. Rent a car.

3. Afford to pay his own college tuition.

4. Afford to buy a new, shiny, high-performance sports car.

5. Afford to buy any new car.

6. Afford to buy any car at all, really.

7. Rent an apartment without a parent as co-signer.

8. Break the rules of the parents’ household, where he lives rent-free.

9. Complain about the rules of the parents’ household, where he lives rent-free.

10. Lose his permanent status as the baby of the family.

11. Lose his permanent status as his mom’s Pippy, the sunshine of her life.

Throwback to March 26, 2014

1. It is OK to postpone the celebration until the weekend.

2. If you deliver balloons to school, be discreet, and bring enough cupcakes for a dozen friends. (Yes, I did so do that! First time in years.)

3. He has picked out all his own presents on Amazon. He is no longer amused by any of my suggestions.

4. In only 364 days, I will legally no longer have any “children.” This makes my stomach twist and my palms sweat.

Throwback to March 7, 2016

1. “Your father and I, combined, have more than a century’s worth of life experience, so I think we know what we’re doing.”

2. “Ugh, are you still here? Will your spring break ever end?”

3. “Remember Sunday’s Gospel reading about the Prodigal Son? Well, don’t expect us to kill a fatted calf when you return home for the summer.”

4. “You’re going to miss me when I’m gone. You’ll be sorry then. And I just may come back from the grave and haunt you.”

5. “You are the sunshine of our lives, the apple of our eyes, the only bright spot in our universe, so pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease drop out of college and move back home.”

6. “And this is why your brother is my favorite child.”

7. “Remember, we pay for your life.”

Throwback to March 17, 2013

1. I had to cook and serve chili to 50 teenagers at a youth retreat this afternoon, so had to make sure I didn’t burn down the kitchen or embarrass Youngest Child in any way.

2. I still need to go to 4:30 Mass.

3. I need to send-off College Boy, who ends spring break today, and he won’t appreciate my alcohol-induced crying.

4. I may need to go to the grocery store for bread and milk since snow is predicted for tomorrow.

5. I am thinking that a snifter of brandy–or a small glass of Bailey’s– as a nightcap is better than beer anyway.

Throwback to March 8, 2013

1. Sleep-deprived Youngest Child has not arisen before 11 am.

2. We are able to spend more time with College Girl, home on break, even though she is up to her eyeballs in projects.

3. The junk food stash is now gone, out of sight, out of mind, but on to hips.

4. Youngest Child readily available to do household chores since all his homework is done.

Throwback to March 21, 2016

1. Non-stop talking to their companions. Sure, the music is loud, but I can still hear them, because they are shouting to each other. Can’t this discussion wait until after the concert? I doubt that they are trying to solve a world crisis, so they need to shut up.

2. Checking their Facebook and Twitter and email accounts. If they are bored with the performance, they just should just leave.

3. Recording large chunks of the concert with their phones. Put the hands down and dim those screens. You are impeding my enjoyment of the show.

4. Sitting perfectly still and ramrod straight. Yeah, so these guys are obviously here because they want to earn points with their hot-chick dates. But can they at least sway a little, or nod their heads to the beat? These guys must have some hidden attributes, because they are obviously no fun to be around.

5. Leaving their seats multiple times during the show. And it’s always in the middle of a great song. And of course, we all need to stand up to let them pass. If these people know they have teeny tiny bladders, then they should stop bringing beer back to their seats. Or at least buy tickets for aisle seats. Or put on a pair of Depends.

Throwback to March 19, 2014

1. I reminded him to take his “prom proposal” sign to school.

2. I volunteered to pick up a bouquet of flowers to accompany the prom proposal.

3. I replied to a text from Youngest Child asking me to be discreet in my delivery of the bouquet for the prom proposal.

4. I stood at the Whole Foods floral counter and agonized over which bouquet would be best for the prom proposal.

5. I purchased the bouquet for the prom proposal.

6. I discreetly delivered the prom proposal bouquet in a brown paper bag.

7. I anxiously waited for news about the success of the prom proposal.

8. I did not force him to tell me all the juicy details about the ultimate success of the prom proposal.

Friday, March 12, 2021

It’s been a year! A whole calendar year! On March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared CoVid-19 a global pandemic, and on March 13, 2020, I started writing about my cocktails while never expecting that this pandemic would last for so long. I have created and consumed and blogged about my eighty-four different “quarantine cocktails” and forty-two “quasi-quarantine” cocktails (so named since some restrictions had eased). I also consumed numerous–not documented here–glasses of wine and bottles of beer. It’s obvious to all how I chose to cope with the stress of the pandemic. By WRITING, of course. (Did you think I meant DRINKING?) (Well, OK, maybe both.)

Am I done? Not exactly. The virus is still among us, victims are still dying, and most people have yet to be vaccinated. Yes, I have returned to work since schools are now partially open. I am still wearing a mask, and keeping myself physically-distanced from the handful of students in my classroom. I still haven’t hugged all those out-of-state family members, like my son, my mom, my sister, my sister-in-law, and my nieces. But we are planning some extended travel for late June, and I am having fewer anxiety-filled dreams.

Last night, we listened to President Biden’s address to the American people. His message was one of guarded optimism: we may be able to gather in small groups by July 4, and we may be able to get people vaccinated more quickly than expected, but we still need to be careful and alert. He signed the American Rescue Plan, a $1.9 trillion pandemic relief bill, which probably will turn out to be a historic piece of legislation in its scope and ambition. So many Americans need help. So many children need to be lifted out of poverty. I trust this is a step in the right direction for our country.

Today’s drink, therefore, is my version of the All-American Cocktail, my salute to American tenacity and achievement.

In a highball glass, combine 1 ounce bourbon with 1 ounce Southern Comfort. Slowly add about 6 ounces of cola, and stir gently. Fill glass to the top with crushed ice. Garnish with a maraschino cherry.

Throwback to March 16, 2014

1. Do those magenta running shoes have good arch support?

2. What kind of stud would you get if you got your nose pierced?

3. Are you using both of the cow skulls in your next sculpture?

4. Besides plywood and cement, what else do you need from Lowe’s?

5. Since you will be of legal drinking age in London this summer, you should get Guinness with your fish and chips.

6. Who are you snap chatting now?

7. Oh, I understand: all these penis-like representations on the New Guinea carvings were there to scare away the enemies.

8. Of course we should order dessert!

9. There are some hot men walking around Manhattan!

10. Let’s take some selfies in Times Square!