Throwback to March 26, 2015

1. Buy alcohol.

2. Rent a car.

3. Afford to pay his own college tuition.

4. Afford to buy a new, shiny, high-performance sports car.

5. Afford to buy any new car.

6. Afford to buy any car at all, really.

7. Rent an apartment without a parent as co-signer.

8. Break the rules of the parents’ household, where he lives rent-free.

9. Complain about the rules of the parents’ household, where he lives rent-free.

10. Lose his permanent status as the baby of the family.

11. Lose his permanent status as his mom’s Pippy, the sunshine of her life.