Things I Am Saying To Youngest Child in the Hours Before Prom, The List:

Throwback to April 12, 2014.

1. Vacuum your car! Your date does not want to sit in that mess!

2. Do you know where to put your hands when you dance?

3. Wrist corsages are the best idea ever, because I have seen how guys’ hands tremble when they try to pin flowers to your dress.

4. Don’t forget to tip your server at the restaurant. Eighteen percent would be nice.

5. Remember the line about “leaving room for the Holy Spirit?” Yeah. Do that.

6. Make sure you say hello to her parents. Make eye contact. You may want to throw in the fact that you’re an Eagle Scout.

7. Yes, she’s very tall, but she is probably wearing flats. Get over it.

8. You are so lucky that that gorgeous girl agreed to go with you.

9. Drive carefully.

10. Say a prayer that you and all your friends stay safe tonight.

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