Throwback to May 15, 2015

1. I could bribe each of his teachers to flunk him. Cash, food, potent potables–all would probably work.

2. I could write him his first-ever Disciplinary Report. It would have to be a doozy, though, to ensure weeks of In School Suspension.

3. I could convince the school’s morning news crew to film me singing something super-sentimental, like the opening lines of “Sunrise, Sunset.”

4. I could wear a sign on my front that says, “Ask Me About My Awesome Senior.”

5. I could wear a sign on my back that says, “Don’t Kick Me, Because I Am Feeling Down Enough Already.”

6. I could think of ruses to get him to come to every one of my classes, so I could hug him in front of my students. And maybe even kiss him very loudly. On both cheeks.

7. I could ask the School Resource Officer to arrest him, since he is 18, on charges of Breaking (his mommy’s heart) and Entering (his mommy’s every thought today).

Throwback to May 12, 2016

1. “I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”

2. “Everything happens for a reason.”

3. “Let it go, let it go.”

4. “Well, look on the bright side..”

5. “It could have been worse.”

6. “If you keep rolling your eyeballs at me, they’ll get stuck that way.”

Enjoyed: Sunday, May 16, 2021

Listed on the menu: Yes, as Old Fashioned Mule.

Ingredients: Evan Williams Whiskey, Angostura bitters, orange, cherry, ginger beer, and served in a Moscow Mule copper mug.

The occasion: My sister’s family invited me along for a belated Mother’s Day supper. As always, I enjoy spending time with my nieces and learning about their adventures.

My rating: ** out of 5. In all fairness, our server did say he could make me a “regular” Old Fashioned, but I was intrigued by the version on the menu. Someone had gone to the trouble of creating this cocktail, and placing it toward the top of the drink list, so I was game. Old Fashioneds are tasty, Moscow Mules are tasty, but this fusion of the two left much to be desired.  The whiskey flavor hit my palate first, and then the ginger beer, which lingered on without zest or sweetness. The ginger did not complement the bitter orange flavors at all. The combination just felt wrong.

Final thoughts: Radius’ website boasts of being selected “Northwest Indiana Restaurant of the Year” in both 2019 and 2020. The award-winning burger I ate (The Chefs of Steel Signature Triple B Burger with blueberry bourbon bacon jam, grilled jalapeno cream cheese, smoked bacon, lettuce, and tomato, on a toasted pretzel bun) delighted my palate with its flavors. Did the chef approve the cocktail menu, though? I should have asked what beverage the chef recommended to go with that awesome burger.

Enjoyed: Sunday, May 16, 2021

Listed on the menu: Yes, as Walnut Old Fashioned

Ingredients: Evan Williams Bourbon, Real McCoy Single Blended Rum, Demerara, walnut liqueur, orange bitters, walnut bitters, orange peel, cherries.

The occasion: Decompressing on a cloudy Sunday afternoon.  My sister and I had already finished an “in-person” visit with Mama (we were still required to sit behind a clear plastic partition, wear masks, and limit our visit to 30 minutes) and a subsequent hour-long visit at her room’s window (which only opens 4 inches and severely limits Mama’s ability to hear us clearly). Touching–not to mention hugging–is logistically impossible, so adding to everyone’s overall frustration with these visits. 

My rating: **** out of 5. The presentation was fabulous: a pretty yet solid-feeling low ball glass, a single extra-large ice cube, and three cherries on a bamboo pick. The drink had a lovely rich and sweet texture, probably from the rum and walnut liqueur. (I don’t remember ever buying walnut liqueur for my bar, but considering this is an Italian restaurant, this choice makes sense.) Overall, a creative take on the Old Fashioned, but I would have preferred a bit more of the Evan Williams flavor to shine.

Final thoughts: I have missed sitting at a bar, so this experience was a long-awaited treat! And sitting at a bar with my one and only sister? Even more of a treat!

Enjoyed: Friday, May 14, 2021

Listed on the menu: Yes, as Driving Miss Daisy.

Ingredients: 18th Street Distillery/Lincoln Flats Cabernet Barrel Finished Bourbon, simple syrup, bitters, soda water, muddled orange slice, muddled Luxardo cherry.

The occasion: Friday night dinner with my sister and youngest niece. This restaurant and bar is on a corner of the main street of downtown Valparaiso, and people were everywhere, enjoying the warmer weather. This was also the first time I drank with my niece since she turned 21 last summer. (Thanks, pandemic!)

My rating: **** out of 5. The drink was a tad sweeter than I prefer, but very smooth, probably due to the popular signature bourbon, made in (believe it or not) my hometown of Hammond, Indiana. 

Final thoughts: I should have ordered a neat shot of the signature bourbon, to savor it without the bitters et al., but our server suggested I start with a shot of Old 55 Indiana Sweet Corn bourbon, made entirely of Hoosier corn and n other grains. I will try most anything once, but I was not impressed, regardless of the price tag. (Tasted like moonshine to me.) Then again, when you are dining in Indiana and in a town known for its popcorn festival, I suppose you need to sample all sorts of corn products. 

Enjoyed: Thursday, May 13, 2021

Listed on the menu: No. Joseph, the bartender, offered me a choice of whiskey.  I told him to use his personal preference. 

Ingredients: Maker’s Mark bourbon, Angostura bitters, splash of soda water, a cherry, and many small ice cubes.

The occasion: I had a 2 ½ hour layover at O’Hare. Final destination was South Bend, Indiana, from where I would drive to Michigan City, Indiana, to visit my 95 year old mom. I had not seen Mama since several months before the pandemic started, so my visit was long overdue. I was nervous about seeing her, since I knew her health and mental acuity had deteriorated, so I felt I needed the comfort of a drink. Plus, sitting at a bar beats sitting at the gate.

My rating: *** out of 5. The Maker’s Mark made the drink a tad sweet, the soda water made it ever-so-slightly bubbly, and the ice provided the dilution that my empty stomach appreciated.

Final thoughts: 1. I must have looked desperate and/or crazed, because when I walked into the restaurant, the hostess said, “Bar?” Yes, yes, a seat at the bar was fine, even though other solo travelers were sitting at tables. 2. The bartender at the first place I stopped told me that he didn’t have the ingredients to make a fancy drink like an Old Fashioned. What? He did have several bottles of whiskey, so I suppose his customers only ever wanted shots, or beer. 3. All the other patrons at the bar were drinking beer and eating French fries. I guess people get their breakfast carbs any way they can while travelling. 4. OK, so it was 9:45 am in Chicago, and please don’t judge me. I had already been awake for over 6 hours at that point, and it was 5 o’clock somewhere.

Throwback to May 3, 2016

1. He has had a major car wreck and has somehow managed to be injury-free and capable of walking back to the house.

2. His boss has just informed him that his job has been eliminated and that there is no need to report to work today, or any day hereafter.

3. The police have arrested him and will be hauling his sorry ass to jail.

4. His mistress is waiting outside and will soon be sashaying into my kitchen to confront me.

5. The FBI is waiting outside to take him away to a witness protection program and he has five minutes to say goodbye to me forever.

6. The Penguin or The Riddler or The Joker have discovered his secret identity and his life as a super-hero is now over.

Enjoyed: Saturday, May 8, 2021

Listed on the menu: No, but TJ, bartender extraordinaire, suggested this drink for me and he was happy to make it.

Ingredients: Vitae Smoked Rum, vanilla simple syrup, orange bitters, twist of orange peel, and a rum-soaked cherry.

The occasion: A Mother’s Day Eve visit. I was in the mood for a craft cocktail, and Vitae always has interesting seasonal choices. I started with a pale-blue-hued Papa Smurf (gin, orange liqueur, peach schnapps, and blue spirulina to add color). Husband chose a Gold-N-Stormy and Younger Son boldly decided on a Lunch Break, which tasted like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but was remarkably refreshing and light. As we chatted with TJ, I asked about the Smoked Rum, and he said this rum lent a unique twist to Manhattans and Old Fashioneds. Game on! “Make me one!” I proclaimed.

My rating: ***** out of 5. I do enjoy smoky flavors (like a fine Scotch), and this combination of sweet and smoke and bitter was a pleasant surprise. I would order this again!

Final thoughts: Shop local! We are always happy to support small businesses in the neighborhood. And good bartenders are proud of their skills, so don’t be shy to ask for a drink that suits your preferences and may not be on the menu. And a toast to all the mothers out there! Happy Mother’s Day!

Throwback to May 12, 2013

Day One

1. College Boy gets recognized as the Outstanding Senior Geographer.

2. Lovely supper at Zorba’s.

3. All the soon-to-be graduates, each bearing a candle, processing single file and circling Westhampton Lake while families watched from the library hillside.

4. A 10 minute firework display.

5. Thunderstorm holding off just barely long enough to get all of us inside.

Day Two

1. Sunny yet comfortable weather.

2. A moving inter-faith baccalaureate ceremony.

3. A gourmet luncheon in the dining hall for the families, complete with surprises like ice sculptures, salmon linguine, truffles, and linen napkins.

4. The Despica-blimp flying overhead as the graduates walked through campus together.

5. Opening the program to discover that College Boy was graduating summa cum laude.

6. Actually holding that diploma in my own hands.

7. Supper at the Jefferson Hotel.

8. And now, officially bringing an end to my label of “College Boy.”

Throwback to May 10, 2014

1.Sometimes one look–like an icy glare or a disbelieving stare– can communicate more than a thousand words.

2.Sons need to be reminded that the girls they are dating need chocolates and flowers on a regular basis.

3.Daughters need to be reminded that Force-To-Be-Reckoned-With Women need patience, because real men, those strong enough and mature enough to love them, do exist.

4. High quantity guilt works, high quality guilt works, and employing both concurrently works even better.

5.Never allow the kids to speak negatively about their father. Only his wife is allowed to do so.

6.Always tell the kids to be ready a full 15 minutes before they actually need to be ready.

7. A refrigerator full of food is a solid indicator of a mother’s love.

8.Prying into offspring’s personal affairs is a solid indicator of a mother’s love.

9.Nagging is a solid indicator of a mother’s love.

10.Wanting to know offspring’s whereabouts at all times is a solid indicator of a mother’s love.

11.Thank you notes should be handwritten and sent out promptly.

12.Provide your children and husband with a list of the gifts you want for Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc.

13. “Make sure you pay attention as I teach you all the basic household chores, because if you are incapable of pulling your weight around your future household, your spouse will blame me for not teaching you this, and I do not want to be responsible for your spouse’s tears.”

14.Your children should know that if the grandchildren are not raised as Catholics, they should expect you to haunt them from your grave.

15. Vodka martinis help keep your outlook positive.

16. Keep your sense of humor.