- “Pull up your mask, please.”
- “Make sure your mask is covering your nose.”
- “It’s a school rule, so please be kind toward others around you.”
- “If you don’t wear that mask correctly I am going to yank it up myself and then yell at you like the bat-shit crazy old woman that you are driving me to become.”
- “Here’s a wipe for your desk top.”
- “Please wipe your desk as a courtesy to the next student who will be using it.”
- “Thanks for waiting for your turn to get a wipe.”
- “That’s your idea of a thorough wipe down? Seriously? Has no one taught you any better? Please tell me you are not the person cleaning tables at any of my favorite local restaurants.”
- “Please finish your breakfast in the cafeteria across the hall.”
- “Could you wait until lunch starts–in about 10 minutes–before you begin eating in here?”
- “Could you pull up your mask since you are done eating your snack?”
- “I know you all are growing teenagers but for the love of all that is holy, could you exert a little self-discipline here and not constantly feel the need to put Cheetos and/or fries from ChikFilA and/or chicken nuggets in your mouths while sitting in a room with 25 other people? And if you are going to be sucking down pumpkin spice lattes in the mornings, can you at least have the decency to get one for me?”
- “Please try to maintain some space between your desks.”
- “Social distancing means you try to stay at least three feet apart.”
- “Could you all not crowd around the door while you wait for the bell to ring?”
- “I realize that all of you really missed each other’s company while you were attending school virtually for all those months, but if you want to return to that, then keep holding hands and hugging and huddling together to make TikTok videos. See if I care.”
Monica Lists 