1. He was a middle child. He had two older brothers, then two (maybe three) siblings who died in infancy (probably of scarlet fever, he once told me), two younger brothers, and then a baby sister.
2. His mother never knew who her parents were, since she was handed over to be raised by a foster family who were paid–initially–for her upkeep. Some of his siblings believed their mother was an illegitimate “love child” from a wealthy family, but he preferred to believe that his mother was given away in order to save her from persecutions being inflicted on Polish nobility by the occupying Russian Empire.
3. His peers, during his early teenage years, called him “Philosopher” because he enjoyed reading, learning, and sharing information.
4. He saved his younger brother’s life by swimming into middle of the Vistula River near Warsaw and then pulling his brother to shore. However, the only reason the brother was in the river was because he and his buddies dared the little brother to go into the water.
5. He started smoking at the age of 16, and quit cold-turkey on the eve of his youngest daughter’s birthday. (She was 6? 8? I forgot.) Definitely the best gift ever. Then he became addicted to Wrigley’s Doublemint gum.
6. He was 16 when the Nazis invaded his beloved Warsaw. He witnessed so much destruction and pain. Toward the end of the war, he was being held in a Nazi prison camp in an old castle in Lublin, in what is now eastern Poland. He experienced profound hunger, body lice, and getting teeth knocked out by a Nazi guard’s rifle. He heard random prisoners being executed, and prayed he would be spared. In the 1970s, he returned to Lublin to see the castle, even though he was trembling and in a cold sweat, because he wanted to face the demons still giving him nightmares. (I think it helped!)
7. While in prison, he was savvy enough to pick up key phrases in both Russian and German, and was often called on to translate the orders the Nazis would bark at their prisoners. He believed his language skills earned him a slightly better level of treatment, since the guards needed him. Also, he could ask the German kitchen workers to ladle his daily ration of soup “from the bottom” where the heavier chunks of food were, versus “from the top” which meant only broth.
8. His German skills improved even more from 1945-1950, while he worked as a military policeman at a US Army base in West Germany. He also started learning English and started wishing to emigrate to the USA. Eventually, a Catholic priest in Cedar Lake, Indiana, sponsored him and helped him settle in Hammond, Indiana.
9. His loyalty and patriotism to the USA was just as great as his Polish pride. He hung an American flag by the front door for every legal holiday. He had amazing vocal skill and a lovely baritone voice, and frequently was asked to sing both the American and Polish national anthems at community events.
10. He also wrote skits and poems for Polish community events. He loved to perform on the stage, and sometimes even involved his daughters. (I can still recite some of those poems.) For years, he kept a Santa Claus costume in a trunk in the basement.
11. He was not given a middle name by his parents, so he eventually added “Adalbert” which is the English-language name of Saint Wojciech, which was also his father’s name.
12. While still a bachelor in the 1950s, he visited France and Italy. He met a French girl or two (had some photos to prove it) but I only heard about how breathtaking Rome was, especially St. Peter’s Basilica.
13. And while a bachelor, he managed and sometimes played in a community soccer league. He was a fan of all the Chicago sports teams, and his favorite players had Polish surnames. In 1976, he travelled to Montreal, Canada, so he could see some of the events of the Summer Olympics. He managed to score a ticket to a track and field day, and witnessed both Polish and American athletes winning gold medals.
14. A buddy from his time in Germany, Frank, invited him to come to Hartford, Connecticut, for Easter 1958. Frank was hosting a dinner for some single Polish girls. One of these girls was your grandmother, who told me she was attracted to the guy who was singing in the kitchen. She also thought Frank was attracted to her, so becoming a competition of sorts between the two men. Well, you know who your grandmother picked. They were married in late January 1959.
15. When your grandmother arrived in Hammond shortly before the wedding, tongues wagged. Surely this was a shot-gun wedding, since it was so rushed. Well, the oldest child (me!) was born two and a half years later, so do the math.
16. Even though he was gregarious and enjoyed being the center of attention, he also valued the peace and calm of days spent fishing. He even bought a special travel case for his poles, which he took to Poland for a reunion/guy vacation with his brothers in the mid-1970s.
17. Besides fishing, he also enjoyed singing in choirs, riding his bike around town, playing his electric chord organ (by ear, since he never learned to read music), growing vegetables in his garden, and doing crossword puzzles. And he never “cheated” and looked at the answer key, but instead looked for answers in dictionaries, encyclopedias, and atlases.
18. When he learned that I was pregnant with the first grandchild, he told my husband, “You better make sure it’s a boy.” After living with a wife, two daughters, and even a female dog, he wanted another male in the family. Happily, the first of two cherished grandsons was soon born, but looking back, his abundant love for his three granddaughters was evident.

Husband and I both need to submit retirement applications in April, so we decided that this dreary, rainy Saturday afternoon would be the perfect time to sit down and look at matters. We each brought out our respective manila folders (yes, some of us still write things down on paper!), pulled up some websites and spreadsheets, and started taking more notes. There are so many decisions to make, especially for Husband, who has been the (by-far) primary breadwinner. What is the optimal day of the month to retire? Do we want full survivor benefits for me? (Duh, yes.) Should we both start drawing on Social Security at age 67, or do a 62/70 split? How much life insurance should we keep? Whose IRA will we touch first? Is the portfolio balanced well enough to account for inflation? And so on.

Needless to say, about three hours later, I needed a drink. My head was swimming, and I needed to relax. Our discussion will continue until final decisions are made, and I know we will re-visit our manila folders time and again.

Tonight’s cocktail is also called the Lillet 50-50. Combine 1 1/2 ounces of gin with 1 1/2 ounces Lillet Blanc in a shaker with a few cubes of ice. Shake well, strain into a Nick & Nora-style glass, and garnish with citrus peel.