Enjoyed: Tuesday, June 15, 2021

Listed on the menu: Yes, as Burnt Orange Old Fashioned.

Ingredients: Bulleit bourbon, spiced bitters, vanilla brown sugar syrup, brulée orange

The occasion: Today was the last day of the 2020-21 school year, so my colleague DK and I decided to celebrate with a late afternoon drink.

My rating: ** out of 5. The cocktail was tasty, probably because of the fine Bulleit. However, I cannot recommend this particular drink because I did not receive the cocktail that was listed on the menu! After we waited for a substantial amount of time, our sweet server placed my order in front of me and announced that she was just beginning as a bartender, and she wanted to know my opinion of the drink. I tasted it, and the orange zest was pleasantly evident, but I detected no burnt flavor. “What do you use to get the burnt flavor?” I asked. “Usually we use a torch to burn an orange wedge, but the torch hasn’t been working for a while, so we haven’t been doing that,” she replied. So, why didn’t she tell me that when I ordered? AND, would she have confessed to that if I hadn’t asked? AND, why oh why can’t the restaurant simply purchase a torch that works? I felt duped, and hence the low rating, and hence my reluctance to ever again return to this establishment.

Final thoughts: My experience with today’s cocktail is actually a fitting metaphor for the school year we just completed. I was hoping for a burnt orange cocktail, but ended up with a modified version. I was hoping for a productive school year, but ended up with a modified version. I felt cheated out of a positive experience, and I don’t want to place myself in that situation again. And my students no doubt felt cheated out of a positive experience, and they almost certainly don’t want to place themselves in that situation again. I did drain my cocktail glass, you know, since coming to the end felt so good.

Enjoyed: Friday, June 11, 2021

Listed on the menu: Yes, as Peanut Butter Old-Fashioned.

Ingredients: Skrewball peanut butter whiskey, orange bitters, xocolatl mole bitters, smoked orange.

The occasion: A Mother-Daughter Day. We shopped, chatted, visited a hair salon, chatted, ate lunch, chatted, explored Daughter’s new residence, chatted, drank coffee, chatted, and got caught in a downpour.

My rating: **** out of 5. I expected sweetness, and I got it, especially with the initial sip of the cocktail. As my palate opened up, I did pick up the orange and chocolate flavors of the bitters. The citrus worked to balance the sugary peanut butter taste. I would definitely order this drink again, but only at the end of a meal, to serve as a dessert.

Final thoughts: Is Skrewball really whiskey? The product’s website claims that whiskey and peanut butter are blended together to make this combination, but I think they have a “skrew” loose, since critics point out that cane sugar and hazelnut butter are also added. Therefore, I will argue that this is not whiskey, even though you can get “skrewed” by over-indulging.

Throwback to May 29, 2015

1. That supper-time robo-call from the attendance office informing you that your son or daughter was not present for one or more of his/her classes today.

2. That supper-time confrontation when you ask son or daughter why he/she was ditching and what he/she was thinking at the time of that poor decision.

3. That supper-time apology you must issue the next day when you find out it was a recording error, and that he/she was indeed at school.

4. The dings and scrapes that your student’s vehicle collects in the school parking lot.

5. Waiting up late to make sure your student arrives home safely from late night functions like football games and dances.

6. Paying for prom gowns for your daughter, and then paying even more for son to rent a tuxedo that you don’t even get to keep.

7. SAT exams.

8. SOL exams.

9. Editing essays for college applications.

10. Admitting that you have forgotten most everything you have ever learned about chemistry or calculus or statistics, and that you simply cannot help with that homework assignment.

11. Summer homework.

12. The drama.

13. The eye-rolling.

Throwback to May 15, 2015

1. I could bribe each of his teachers to flunk him. Cash, food, potent potables–all would probably work.

2. I could write him his first-ever Disciplinary Report. It would have to be a doozy, though, to ensure weeks of In School Suspension.

3. I could convince the school’s morning news crew to film me singing something super-sentimental, like the opening lines of “Sunrise, Sunset.”

4. I could wear a sign on my front that says, “Ask Me About My Awesome Senior.”

5. I could wear a sign on my back that says, “Don’t Kick Me, Because I Am Feeling Down Enough Already.”

6. I could think of ruses to get him to come to every one of my classes, so I could hug him in front of my students. And maybe even kiss him very loudly. On both cheeks.

7. I could ask the School Resource Officer to arrest him, since he is 18, on charges of Breaking (his mommy’s heart) and Entering (his mommy’s every thought today).

Throwback to May 12, 2016

1. “I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”

2. “Everything happens for a reason.”

3. “Let it go, let it go.”

4. “Well, look on the bright side..”

5. “It could have been worse.”

6. “If you keep rolling your eyeballs at me, they’ll get stuck that way.”

Enjoyed: Sunday, May 16, 2021

Listed on the menu: Yes, as Old Fashioned Mule.

Ingredients: Evan Williams Whiskey, Angostura bitters, orange, cherry, ginger beer, and served in a Moscow Mule copper mug.

The occasion: My sister’s family invited me along for a belated Mother’s Day supper. As always, I enjoy spending time with my nieces and learning about their adventures.

My rating: ** out of 5. In all fairness, our server did say he could make me a “regular” Old Fashioned, but I was intrigued by the version on the menu. Someone had gone to the trouble of creating this cocktail, and placing it toward the top of the drink list, so I was game. Old Fashioneds are tasty, Moscow Mules are tasty, but this fusion of the two left much to be desired.  The whiskey flavor hit my palate first, and then the ginger beer, which lingered on without zest or sweetness. The ginger did not complement the bitter orange flavors at all. The combination just felt wrong.

Final thoughts: Radius’ website boasts of being selected “Northwest Indiana Restaurant of the Year” in both 2019 and 2020. The award-winning burger I ate (The Chefs of Steel Signature Triple B Burger with blueberry bourbon bacon jam, grilled jalapeno cream cheese, smoked bacon, lettuce, and tomato, on a toasted pretzel bun) delighted my palate with its flavors. Did the chef approve the cocktail menu, though? I should have asked what beverage the chef recommended to go with that awesome burger.

Enjoyed: Sunday, May 16, 2021

Listed on the menu: Yes, as Walnut Old Fashioned

Ingredients: Evan Williams Bourbon, Real McCoy Single Blended Rum, Demerara, walnut liqueur, orange bitters, walnut bitters, orange peel, cherries.

The occasion: Decompressing on a cloudy Sunday afternoon.  My sister and I had already finished an “in-person” visit with Mama (we were still required to sit behind a clear plastic partition, wear masks, and limit our visit to 30 minutes) and a subsequent hour-long visit at her room’s window (which only opens 4 inches and severely limits Mama’s ability to hear us clearly). Touching–not to mention hugging–is logistically impossible, so adding to everyone’s overall frustration with these visits. 

My rating: **** out of 5. The presentation was fabulous: a pretty yet solid-feeling low ball glass, a single extra-large ice cube, and three cherries on a bamboo pick. The drink had a lovely rich and sweet texture, probably from the rum and walnut liqueur. (I don’t remember ever buying walnut liqueur for my bar, but considering this is an Italian restaurant, this choice makes sense.) Overall, a creative take on the Old Fashioned, but I would have preferred a bit more of the Evan Williams flavor to shine.

Final thoughts: I have missed sitting at a bar, so this experience was a long-awaited treat! And sitting at a bar with my one and only sister? Even more of a treat!

Enjoyed: Friday, May 14, 2021

Listed on the menu: Yes, as Driving Miss Daisy.

Ingredients: 18th Street Distillery/Lincoln Flats Cabernet Barrel Finished Bourbon, simple syrup, bitters, soda water, muddled orange slice, muddled Luxardo cherry.

The occasion: Friday night dinner with my sister and youngest niece. This restaurant and bar is on a corner of the main street of downtown Valparaiso, and people were everywhere, enjoying the warmer weather. This was also the first time I drank with my niece since she turned 21 last summer. (Thanks, pandemic!)

My rating: **** out of 5. The drink was a tad sweeter than I prefer, but very smooth, probably due to the popular signature bourbon, made in (believe it or not) my hometown of Hammond, Indiana. 

Final thoughts: I should have ordered a neat shot of the signature bourbon, to savor it without the bitters et al., but our server suggested I start with a shot of Old 55 Indiana Sweet Corn bourbon, made entirely of Hoosier corn and n other grains. I will try most anything once, but I was not impressed, regardless of the price tag. (Tasted like moonshine to me.) Then again, when you are dining in Indiana and in a town known for its popcorn festival, I suppose you need to sample all sorts of corn products. 

Enjoyed: Thursday, May 13, 2021

Listed on the menu: No. Joseph, the bartender, offered me a choice of whiskey.  I told him to use his personal preference. 

Ingredients: Maker’s Mark bourbon, Angostura bitters, splash of soda water, a cherry, and many small ice cubes.

The occasion: I had a 2 ½ hour layover at O’Hare. Final destination was South Bend, Indiana, from where I would drive to Michigan City, Indiana, to visit my 95 year old mom. I had not seen Mama since several months before the pandemic started, so my visit was long overdue. I was nervous about seeing her, since I knew her health and mental acuity had deteriorated, so I felt I needed the comfort of a drink. Plus, sitting at a bar beats sitting at the gate.

My rating: *** out of 5. The Maker’s Mark made the drink a tad sweet, the soda water made it ever-so-slightly bubbly, and the ice provided the dilution that my empty stomach appreciated.

Final thoughts: 1. I must have looked desperate and/or crazed, because when I walked into the restaurant, the hostess said, “Bar?” Yes, yes, a seat at the bar was fine, even though other solo travelers were sitting at tables. 2. The bartender at the first place I stopped told me that he didn’t have the ingredients to make a fancy drink like an Old Fashioned. What? He did have several bottles of whiskey, so I suppose his customers only ever wanted shots, or beer. 3. All the other patrons at the bar were drinking beer and eating French fries. I guess people get their breakfast carbs any way they can while travelling. 4. OK, so it was 9:45 am in Chicago, and please don’t judge me. I had already been awake for over 6 hours at that point, and it was 5 o’clock somewhere.

Throwback to May 3, 2016

1. He has had a major car wreck and has somehow managed to be injury-free and capable of walking back to the house.

2. His boss has just informed him that his job has been eliminated and that there is no need to report to work today, or any day hereafter.

3. The police have arrested him and will be hauling his sorry ass to jail.

4. His mistress is waiting outside and will soon be sashaying into my kitchen to confront me.

5. The FBI is waiting outside to take him away to a witness protection program and he has five minutes to say goodbye to me forever.

6. The Penguin or The Riddler or The Joker have discovered his secret identity and his life as a super-hero is now over.