Throwback to May 10, 2014

1.Sometimes one look–like an icy glare or a disbelieving stare– can communicate more than a thousand words.

2.Sons need to be reminded that the girls they are dating need chocolates and flowers on a regular basis.

3.Daughters need to be reminded that Force-To-Be-Reckoned-With Women need patience, because real men, those strong enough and mature enough to love them, do exist.

4. High quantity guilt works, high quality guilt works, and employing both concurrently works even better.

5.Never allow the kids to speak negatively about their father. Only his wife is allowed to do so.

6.Always tell the kids to be ready a full 15 minutes before they actually need to be ready.

7. A refrigerator full of food is a solid indicator of a mother’s love.

8.Prying into offspring’s personal affairs is a solid indicator of a mother’s love.

9.Nagging is a solid indicator of a mother’s love.

10.Wanting to know offspring’s whereabouts at all times is a solid indicator of a mother’s love.

11.Thank you notes should be handwritten and sent out promptly.

12.Provide your children and husband with a list of the gifts you want for Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc.

13. “Make sure you pay attention as I teach you all the basic household chores, because if you are incapable of pulling your weight around your future household, your spouse will blame me for not teaching you this, and I do not want to be responsible for your spouse’s tears.”

14.Your children should know that if the grandchildren are not raised as Catholics, they should expect you to haunt them from your grave.

15. Vodka martinis help keep your outlook positive.

16. Keep your sense of humor.

Throwback to April 28, 2015

1. “You should see the great view from my hotel room!”

2. “I had the most amazing dinner tonight!”

3. “Yeah, I had a few drinks, but so did everyone else.”

4. “It’s kinda nice to have the whole bed to myself.”

5. “Dinner tonight was even better than dinner last night.”

6. “It’s too bad you couldn’t come along, but I guess someone had to stay home with the kids.”

7. “Will you have supper waiting for me when I get home from the airport?”

Throwback to May 7, 2015

1. I have “liked” his college’s Facebook page.

2. I have added his college’s 2015-16 calendar to the family calendar, so I know when his spring break will be.

3. I regularly check the Parent Portal not to make sure his grades are strong, but to assure myself that he is passing all his classes.

4. I have found our family copy of The Naked Roommate, so that Youngest Child can start reading it.

5. I have purchased a stapler and a hole puncher for his desk in the dorm.

6. I have started to consider the best color to re-paint the walls of the guest room, err, I mean his bedroom.

7. I am actively counting down the days in a gleeful fashion (yay yay yay 7 more days of classes and yippee 3 days of exams and hooray it’s over!)

8. I am drinking more, because I heard that helps ease the pain of denial.

Throwback to May 18, 2015

1. At 10:30 PM, giving into a craving for 85% dark chocolate.

2. At 11:00 PM, being asked by Youngest Child to help him review conditional probability, which set my mind a-whirling.

3. At 11:30 PM, realizing that Youngest Child is three short months away from college move-in date.

4. At midnight, flinching in horror when Youngest Child asked if I wanted to see the 3 foot snake on the front porch.

5. At 12:30 AM, panicking when Youngest Child confirmed that it was probably only an Eastern garter snake, and not a copperhead, and then retracted his confirmation because “I really didn’t get a good look at the head, come to think of it.”

6. At 1 AM, hearing Youngest Child proclaim, “If we’re lucky, the snake will still be here in the morning.”

7. At 1:30 AM, trying to block out the snoring from cuddly-yet-congested Husband.

Throwback to May 9, 2013

1. “Yeah, Mom, I’ve started packing” really means “I helped roommate pack all day yesterday and I was just waiting for you to come to pack for me.”

2. A large duffel bag full of shoes simply means she takes after her mother.

3. Plastic hangers multiply like tribbles.

4. The rapid onset of sore throat and watery eyes is probably due to all the dust bunnies that were disturbed in the packing process.

5. Re-usable grocery bags from the car trunk can also be used to transport clothing. And more shoes.

6. Thrift shop bargain clothes are hard to pass up, and subsequently hard to squeeze into a suitcase.

7. Awesome roommates volunteer to watch the pet beta fish for the summer.

8. IKEA area rugs are inexpensive and not meant to last more than 2 semesters, especially when art students spill paint on them.

9. Colleges give out way too many free tee-shirts and free plastic cups.

10. Mini-vans may not be cool to drive, but they are awesome when it comes to hauling dorm furniture.

11. An ironing board with the shrink-wrap still intact is a sign that I wasted my money on that purchase.

Throwback to May 5, 2013

1. Do you have a pencil?

2. YoYo Ma? Is he famous or something, because he sure looks weird when he plays.

3. Oh, he played at the President’s Inauguration? Does that mean he’s good?

4. Why doesn’t YoYo Ma speak with an accent?

5. Do you have anything I could write with?

6. Wynton Marsalis? Is that a real trumpet he’s playing?

7. Wynton Marsalis? The other guy (a younger student) sounds way better than him.

8. Can I go to my locker to get something to write with?

Throwback to May 11, 2012

1. Don’t touch me, I had my hair done.

2. I can’t sweat in PE today because I am going to the dance.

3. (girl to boy) Are you wearing pants tonight?

Throwback to May 13, 2014

1. A lime green inflatable Rody.

2. An open 25 pound bag of plaster.

3. An assortment of 1 by 6 and 2 by 4 boards.

4. A snapped-in-two skateboard.

5. A string of purple Christmas lights.

6. Flannel shirts from Goodwill.

7. Two real cow skulls from real dead cows.

Throwback to May 6, 2014

1. Yeah, so our names rhyme. But I had mine first, so I get dibs.

2. I was wearing berets back in high school, and you were only a little brat, so I get dibs.

3. That royal blue dress I wore to my wedding rehearsal dinner because royal blue is my favorite color? Yeah, you ruined that for me, too.

4. My internship was in the US Senate, not the White House, and cigars were never available.

5. My Husband will once again start saying, “If only you had taken my last name when we got married…”

6. Do you know how humiliating it is to call someone for PTO business, introduce yourself to the kid who picks up the phone, and then to hear the kid scream, “Mommy, this person says she’s Monica Lewinsky!” and then you hear the mom say, “Oh hang up, it’s a prank”?

7. I have finally stopped introducing myself as “Monica PPPPuh-winski,” and now I probably have to start that all over again.

8. Seriously, B*%#! I will never have a grandchild named after me, because you have ruined the name Monica for forever.

Enjoyed: Thursday, May 6, 2021

Listed on the menu: Yes, as Classic Old Fashioned

Listed ingredients: Bowman Brothers Small Batch Bourbon, Angostura bitters, Luxardo cherry

The occasion: Celebrating the end of Teacher/Staff Appreciation Week with my colleague, I. H.

My rating: The drink was what I expected, but no more. The bright red cherry (was it a Luxardo?) and a piece of orange peel were obviously muddled in my cocktail glass, since the cherry was smashed into pieces and the orange peel was down at the very bottom of the glass. The bourbon was pleasant, but I hoped for more pizzazz. *** out of 5.

Final thoughts: We sat outdoors and enjoyed the mild, sunny day, so I missed watching the bartender make the drink. I almost wonder if the bartender did use the top-shelf bourbon (made in Virginia), since it was Happy Hour and well-drinks were being poured. No matter–I happily toasted to all teachers and support staff. Cheers! It’s been a difficult year, and I am so impressed with everyone’s dedication.