Throwback to April 18, 2014

1. Did you get highlights in your hair?

2. Is it true that Obama and his wife are getting a divorce?

3. Isn’t your son going out with *********?

4. Would Jay-Z make a good President?

5. Why wouldn’t Jay-Z make a good President?

6. Why would people not think that Jay-Z would make a good President?

7. Do you think that Jay-Z would make a good President?

8. Wait, Episcopalians are Christians?

Throwback to April 24, 2014

1. Visit art museums.

2. Ride the subway.

3. Order wine with lunch.

4. Order a cocktail with dinner.

5. Walk through Times Square at midnight.

6. Watch over only one young person.

7. Cuss.

8. Take photos of my offspring.

Throwback to April 9, 2015

DIFFERENT:

1. Grad School Man and College Girl could not join us.

2. We did not have to rent a mini-van, only a sedan.

3. No one needs supervision in the hotel pools.

4. No stuffed animals accompany us.

5. We look at the books in the gift shops and not at the stuffed animals.

6. We can eat at restaurants that do not have a kiddie menu.

7. No one needs help with putting on hiking boots.

8. No one is whining about putting on sunscreen.

SAME:

1. I keep yelling, “Drink more water!”

2. I keep yelling, “Don’t stand so close to the edge!”

3. I keep yelling, “Don’t climb so high!”

Throwback to April 21, 2015

1. The school is up and coming in rank and reputation.

2. Only 5,000 students.

3. Mom and Dad will pay in-state tuition and loans will not be necessary.

4. $1 billion in capital improvements and new construction in the past 18 years, so everything is fresh and glossy.

5. Due to proximity to rivers, the bay, and the ocean, research opportunities in environmental science and conservation are available.

6. The campus is considered “suburban” with bigger cities nearby.

7. Big sister– and her car– are just an hour away.

8. Mom and Dad are at least 2 hours and 15 minutes away and maybe even more because of traffic.

9. He can join the Marching Band, which will be participating in the next St. Patrick’s Day parade in Dublin, Ireland.

10. Mom and Dad will likely pay for this trip to Dublin.

11. He can join one of the choirs, which perform in venues in Europe.

12. Mom and Dad will likely pay for this trip to Europe.

13. Small class sizes.

14. Residence halls (you know, the places we called “dorms”) are ridiculously luxurious.

15. There are several a capella groups on campus, so surely one will have an opening.

16. A beach is 30-45 minutes away.

17. The girls are very pretty.

18. Since so many things at CNU have a nautical theme (“The Captains”), it will be acceptable to talk like a pirate. Arrr.

Throwback to March 29, 2016

1. Prom proposals are popping up in creative ways, accompanied by posters, bouquets of flowers and/or boxes of donuts, and even a barbershop quartet.

2. The faculty has received the first email about upcoming standardized testing.

3. Tennis rackets and baseball bats are sticking out of backpacks.

4. Lacrosse players are carrying their sticks like royal scepters, with an occasional twirl just to impress the females.

5. Classrooms are running out of Kleenex and hand-sanitizer now that the pollen has triggered bouts of sneezing.

6. Seniors are wearing the sportswear of the colleges that have accepted them for enrollment.

7. Boys are wearing shorts and neon-colored athletic shoes.

8. Girls are wearing short shorts and the most darling little strappy sandals.

9. Teachers are wearing goofy grins and muttering, “It’s almost spring break!”

Throwback to March 26, 2015

1. Buy alcohol.

2. Rent a car.

3. Afford to pay his own college tuition.

4. Afford to buy a new, shiny, high-performance sports car.

5. Afford to buy any new car.

6. Afford to buy any car at all, really.

7. Rent an apartment without a parent as co-signer.

8. Break the rules of the parents’ household, where he lives rent-free.

9. Complain about the rules of the parents’ household, where he lives rent-free.

10. Lose his permanent status as the baby of the family.

11. Lose his permanent status as his mom’s Pippy, the sunshine of her life.

Throwback to March 26, 2014

1. It is OK to postpone the celebration until the weekend.

2. If you deliver balloons to school, be discreet, and bring enough cupcakes for a dozen friends. (Yes, I did so do that! First time in years.)

3. He has picked out all his own presents on Amazon. He is no longer amused by any of my suggestions.

4. In only 364 days, I will legally no longer have any “children.” This makes my stomach twist and my palms sweat.

Throwback to March 7, 2016

1. “Your father and I, combined, have more than a century’s worth of life experience, so I think we know what we’re doing.”

2. “Ugh, are you still here? Will your spring break ever end?”

3. “Remember Sunday’s Gospel reading about the Prodigal Son? Well, don’t expect us to kill a fatted calf when you return home for the summer.”

4. “You’re going to miss me when I’m gone. You’ll be sorry then. And I just may come back from the grave and haunt you.”

5. “You are the sunshine of our lives, the apple of our eyes, the only bright spot in our universe, so pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease drop out of college and move back home.”

6. “And this is why your brother is my favorite child.”

7. “Remember, we pay for your life.”

Throwback to March 17, 2013

1. I had to cook and serve chili to 50 teenagers at a youth retreat this afternoon, so had to make sure I didn’t burn down the kitchen or embarrass Youngest Child in any way.

2. I still need to go to 4:30 Mass.

3. I need to send-off College Boy, who ends spring break today, and he won’t appreciate my alcohol-induced crying.

4. I may need to go to the grocery store for bread and milk since snow is predicted for tomorrow.

5. I am thinking that a snifter of brandy–or a small glass of Bailey’s– as a nightcap is better than beer anyway.

Throwback to March 8, 2013

1. Sleep-deprived Youngest Child has not arisen before 11 am.

2. We are able to spend more time with College Girl, home on break, even though she is up to her eyeballs in projects.

3. The junk food stash is now gone, out of sight, out of mind, but on to hips.

4. Youngest Child readily available to do household chores since all his homework is done.