Throwback to August 25, 2012
1. Crowded towel racks in the bathrooms.
2. Squabbles about who gets the last brownie.
3. Squabbles about who gets the last scoop of ice cream.
4. Squabbles about who gets the last slice of bacon.
5. Scales being played loudly on the French horn.
6. Scales being played loudly on the trombone.
7. Re-parking cars so all of them can fit in the driveway.
8. Boxes full of dorm/apartment supplies in the dining room and basement.
Throwback to August 25, 2013
1. Go ahead, do whatever you want to do, since you’re the “man of the house” now.
2. Those chores your dad nags you about? Don’t bother, he’ll never know you didn’t do them.
3. You need to study more and get better grades and go to a good college so you can someday get a nice job that sends you overseas and leaves your wife home alone.
4. Of course I will cook all your favorite meals every evening because I so love to pamper you.
5. Sure, you can drive Dad’s car.
6. I hope your dad neglects to bring us souvenirs, because I want him to be frugal and save every penny for your college education.
7. Just wait ’til your father gets home!!!
Throwback to August 24, 2014
1. They were out of green peppers, ripe bananas, and elbow macaroni.
2. The exposed wires and concrete floors and empty food cases reminded me of grocery stores in Communist Poland.
3. I almost twisted my ankle on the uneven floors, but I guess that’s the price I pay for wearing stylish shoes.
4. A layer of fine powder is covering everything in the store, so I have to dust my cans and bottles before putting them away in my cupboard.
5. A dude with a jar full of pennies cut in line in front of me at the customer service desk, and the customer service chick did not seem to mind, even though I was really, really giving both dude and chick the super evil-eye glare.
6. I had to backtrack several times in order to find items which were put in new locations, since the signage above the aisles is now outdated and inaccurate, and my feet started to hurt, but I guess that’s the price I pay for wearing stylish shoes.
7. By the time I got to the check-out, I was sneezing and sniffling and my throat was scratchy.
Throwback to August 22, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2020
I wanted a blue-colored drink to celebrate the 2020 Democratic National Convention, and also I wanted to use the blueberry juice concentrate that I bought at IKEA ages ago. So, the cocktail I selected is not exactly a “conventional” shade of blue (pun intended). Then again, this year’s nominating convention is unique, unprecedented, historic, and…wait for it…unconventional, so the cocktail is fitting.
I have been a Democrat all my life. My parents supported Democratic candidates, I grew up in a city run by Democrats, and I even became the president of the College Democrats back in my student days. I remember putting a “Muskie for President” sticker on a school folder back in 1972, and I remember listening to the convention of 1980 on a transistor radio while I was at work. I love the speeches, the emotion, and the roll call. (And OMG, this year’s Virginia’s votes were reported from my town, which made me proud and then profoundly sad when Mr. Khan reminded us that Charlottesville was “attacked by white supremacists” only three short years ago.)
I will be voting, as I always do, and I will be voting for Biden and Harris. Please join me.
This is my version of a Blueberry Vodka cocktail.
Fill a shaker half-way with ice, and add 1 1/2 ounces vodka, 1 1/2 ounces blueberry juice concentrate, and 1 teaspoon lemon juice. Shake well and strain into a low-ball glass, and top off with 3 ounces of club soda. Garnish with blueberries.
Throwback to August 19, 2012
1. Trombone.
2. I-Pod.
3. Video camera.
4. Laptop.
5. Cordless drill and other “art” tools.
6. Portfolios.
7. Synthesizer.
8. Febreze.
9. Cellphone.
10. Box of Kleenex specifically for gently-crying mother.
Throwback to August 17, 2014
1. Thank God there’s an elevator.
2. Yes, I know it’s the sixth floor, but your bathroom window really needs some sort of window covering.
3. Of course we can fit a queen-sized mattress into the back of the minivan. We did it before for her big brother.
4. Did you notice that once I stepped away, three guys came forward to help you put the bungee cords on the back of the minivan? That’s because you’re cute and young and blonde and wearing tight pants.
5. Thank God in heaven above that there’s an elevator.
6. Yes, Dad brought all the power tools anyone could possibly ever need to assemble a bed and a bookcase.
7. The dome of the synagogue across the street looks like a giant yarmulke.
8. Ugh, has anyone ever dusted these baseboards?
9. How much are we paying a month for her to live in this place?
10. Look, I can see where my car is parked from this window!
11. Look, I can see Lowe’s from this window!
12. The radiator is really not an optimal spot for the aquarium.
13. You are going to have to drive yourself to Kroger for groceries. After all, you do have a car now.
14. You are going to have to drive yourself to Walmart for cleaning supplies. After all, you do have a car now.
15. Yes, you should have plenty of money in your checking account to buy groceries and cleaning supplies because we pay for your life.
16. Yes, the view from here really is beautiful.
17. Thank the almighty Lord God in glorious heaven above that there’s an elevator.
Throwback to early August 2015:
1. The importance of separating whites from colors when doing laundry.
2. How to fold a dress shirt before putting it in a suitcase.
3. How to iron a dress shirt.
4. How to sew a button on a dress shirt.
5. The importance of writing down each and every appointment on the wall calendar.
6. How to buy textbooks online in order to get the best price.
7. The importance of changing sheets and towels at least twice a month. Really. More often is even better. Really.
8. The importance of checking the checkbook balance on a regular basis. Really. And hang on to those paper receipts.
9. The importance of dusting and vacuuming the dorm room (including the adjoining bathroom) on a regular basis. Really. Or at least do it before Parents’ Weekend.
10. The importance of communicating with his mother on a regular basis. Really. Because if he doesn’t, she will post embarrassing tidbits about him on every social media outlet she uses to stalk him.
Throwback to August 16, 2013
1. College Girl officially moves back to school today.
2. I have to help load the car that gets College Girl back to school today.
3. I have to drive College Girl back to school today.
4. I have to help unload the car that gets College Girl back to school today.
5. I have to say goodbye to College Girl since she is going back to school today.
Throwback to August 14, 2013
1. She is almost 20 years old. She should know what she’s doing.
2. She is almost 20 years old. No way in heck does she know what she’s doing.
3. It’s not a very big tattoo. I hope.
4. She has good grades, goes to church, doesn’t do drugs, and so on, so I need to pick my battles, and this won’t be it.
5. I suppose this is better than eloping to Vegas.
6. She is paying for this with her own money.
7. At least it’s not in an awful location on her body. I hope.
8. I know (and love) many people with tattoos.
9. Remember all those times that my mother would get upset with the 19 year old me and say sh*# like, “Someday, you’ll have a daughter, and you’ll see what it feels like when she doesn’t listen to you!” and such? I am not really that upset, really, but let’s not tell Grandmother about this tattoo. Ever.
10. Her wedding gown sleeves will hide it, right?
Monica Lists 