1. He was a middle child. He had two older brothers, then two (maybe three) siblings who died in infancy (probably of scarlet fever, he once told me), two younger brothers, and then a baby sister.
2. His mother never knew who her parents were, since she was handed over to be raised by a foster family who were paid–initially–for her upkeep. Some of his siblings believed their mother was an illegitimate “love child” from a wealthy family, but he preferred to believe that his mother was given away in order to save her from persecutions being inflicted on Polish nobility by the occupying Russian Empire.
3. His peers, during his early teenage years, called him “Philosopher” because he enjoyed reading, learning, and sharing information.
4. He saved his younger brother’s life by swimming into middle of the Vistula River near Warsaw and then pulling his brother to shore. However, the only reason the brother was in the river was because he and his buddies dared the little brother to go into the water.
5. He started smoking at the age of 16, and quit cold-turkey on the eve of his youngest daughter’s birthday. (She was 6? 8? I forgot.) Definitely the best gift ever. Then he became addicted to Wrigley’s Doublemint gum.
6. He was 16 when the Nazis invaded his beloved Warsaw. He witnessed so much destruction and pain. Toward the end of the war, he was being held in a Nazi prison camp in an old castle in Lublin, in what is now eastern Poland. He experienced profound hunger, body lice, and getting teeth knocked out by a Nazi guard’s rifle. He heard random prisoners being executed, and prayed he would be spared. In the 1970s, he returned to Lublin to see the castle, even though he was trembling and in a cold sweat, because he wanted to face the demons still giving him nightmares. (I think it helped!)
7. While in prison, he was savvy enough to pick up key phrases in both Russian and German, and was often called on to translate the orders the Nazis would bark at their prisoners. He believed his language skills earned him a slightly better level of treatment, since the guards needed him. Also, he could ask the German kitchen workers to ladle his daily ration of soup “from the bottom” where the heavier chunks of food were, versus “from the top” which meant only broth.
8. His German skills improved even more from 1945-1950, while he worked as a military policeman at a US Army base in West Germany. He also started learning English and started wishing to emigrate to the USA. Eventually, a Catholic priest in Cedar Lake, Indiana, sponsored him and helped him settle in Hammond, Indiana.
9. His loyalty and patriotism to the USA was just as great as his Polish pride. He hung an American flag by the front door for every legal holiday. He had amazing vocal skill and a lovely baritone voice, and frequently was asked to sing both the American and Polish national anthems at community events.
10. He also wrote skits and poems for Polish community events. He loved to perform on the stage, and sometimes even involved his daughters. (I can still recite some of those poems.) For years, he kept a Santa Claus costume in a trunk in the basement.
11. He was not given a middle name by his parents, so he eventually added “Adalbert” which is the English-language name of Saint Wojciech, which was also his father’s name.
12. While still a bachelor in the 1950s, he visited France and Italy. He met a French girl or two (had some photos to prove it) but I only heard about how breathtaking Rome was, especially St. Peter’s Basilica.
13. And while a bachelor, he managed and sometimes played in a community soccer league. He was a fan of all the Chicago sports teams, and his favorite players had Polish surnames. In 1976, he travelled to Montreal, Canada, so he could see some of the events of the Summer Olympics. He managed to score a ticket to a track and field day, and witnessed both Polish and American athletes winning gold medals.
14. A buddy from his time in Germany, Frank, invited him to come to Hartford, Connecticut, for Easter 1958. Frank was hosting a dinner for some single Polish girls. One of these girls was your grandmother, who told me she was attracted to the guy who was singing in the kitchen. She also thought Frank was attracted to her, so becoming a competition of sorts between the two men. Well, you know who your grandmother picked. They were married in late January 1959.
15. When your grandmother arrived in Hammond shortly before the wedding, tongues wagged. Surely this was a shot-gun wedding, since it was so rushed. Well, the oldest child (me!) was born two and a half years later, so do the math.
16. Even though he was gregarious and enjoyed being the center of attention, he also valued the peace and calm of days spent fishing. He even bought a special travel case for his poles, which he took to Poland for a reunion/guy vacation with his brothers in the mid-1970s.
17. Besides fishing, he also enjoyed singing in choirs, riding his bike around town, playing his electric chord organ (by ear, since he never learned to read music), growing vegetables in his garden, and doing crossword puzzles. And he never “cheated” and looked at the answer key, but instead looked for answers in dictionaries, encyclopedias, and atlases.
18. When he learned that I was pregnant with the first grandchild, he told my husband, “You better make sure it’s a boy.” After living with a wife, two daughters, and even a female dog, he wanted another male in the family. Happily, the first of two cherished grandsons was soon born, but looking back, his abundant love for his three granddaughters was evident.

Husband and I both need to submit retirement applications in April, so we decided that this dreary, rainy Saturday afternoon would be the perfect time to sit down and look at matters. We each brought out our respective manila folders (yes, some of us still write things down on paper!), pulled up some websites and spreadsheets, and started taking more notes. There are so many decisions to make, especially for Husband, who has been the (by-far) primary breadwinner. What is the optimal day of the month to retire? Do we want full survivor benefits for me? (Duh, yes.) Should we both start drawing on Social Security at age 67, or do a 62/70 split? How much life insurance should we keep? Whose IRA will we touch first? Is the portfolio balanced well enough to account for inflation? And so on.

Needless to say, about three hours later, I needed a drink. My head was swimming, and I needed to relax. Our discussion will continue until final decisions are made, and I know we will re-visit our manila folders time and again.

Tonight’s cocktail is also called the Lillet 50-50. Combine 1 1/2 ounces of gin with 1 1/2 ounces Lillet Blanc in a shaker with a few cubes of ice. Shake well, strain into a Nick & Nora-style glass, and garnish with citrus peel.

Ah, my favorite kind of winter-weather event: gently-falling snow, both of us home from work, electricity and heat working, and plenty of bread and milk in the house. Today is Martin Luther King, Jr,. Day, as well, so we are grateful for having a paid day off, too. What a perfect afternoon to concoct a cocktail.

I was hoping, all afternoon, that schools would be closed tomorrow. I did get my wish, and even Husband’s employer has declared a snow day due to the expected dangerous road conditions. I am relieved that my loved ones in Tennessee and northern Virginia can work from home tomorrow. Whew! One less worry for this mom.

Yes, snow days can be a treat. Once we are retired, that treat goes away. Hmm, I suppose I will miss that little thrill of getting THAT phone call which announces that schools are closed. Ha, who am I kidding? Once we are retired, every day in January can be a snow day! We can lounge around in fleece sweatshirts and fuzzy slippers and sip hot chocolate whenever we want, and we can keep the alarm clock off for good.

And yet, I have been known to feel guilty for squandering my snow day on lounging around and sipping and sleeping. We will need to draft weekly schedules in retirement so we don’t squander our days away. We are already talking about it. Mop-Up Mondays and Taco Tuesdays have been penciled in, for starters.

Today’s cocktail fits a frosty theme. Here’s my spin on a rosemary lemon martini.

In a cocktail shaker, combine 2 ounces vodka, 2 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice, 2 Tablespoons simple syrup, and a cut up sprig of rosemary. Add several ice cubes and shake very well. Strain into a chilled martini glass and garnish with another rosemary sprig and a curl of lemon peel.

Enjoyed: Sunday, December 31, 2023

Listed on the menu: No, no drink menu here, but undoubtedly the bartenders can create any classic cocktail to accompany the classic dishes on the menu.

Ingredients: Well bourbon, simple syrup, bitters, muddled cherry, muddled orange slice. And lots of ice. Had it not been a super-busy evening, I would have asked our waiter for more specifics about the ingredients.

The occasion: This was New Year’s Eve! We suggested a “classic Charlottesville” evening out to our dear friends, and we discovered that most of us hadn’t been to the Aberdeen Barn (self-proclaimed as a “big-time steakhouse”) in many years. One of our group remembers eating here when he came for his job interview at UVA. My husband remembers taking me out to a celebratory dinner here when we learned that baby number one was on the way. It was high time to re-visit this local institution (family owned and operated since 1965!), and we all had a lovely meal to ring out the old year.

My rating: *** out of 5. Although the glass was overloaded with ice, I could tell that the bartender was not skimpy with the bourbon. The drink was also less sweet than I expected. This was a “man’s drink” for certain, one that would have met with approval from my parents’ generation. No frou-frou drinks for wimps here, no sir! If that steak won’t put hair on your chest, this cocktail will–especially if you drink most of it before the ice starts to melt. (I did.)

Final thoughts: Even though every table was occupied when we arrived for the last seating of the evening, the quality of the food and of the service was great. And our dinner companions made the evening even more memorable. Happy New Year to all!

1. The Kroger-brand flour, versus a name brand.
2. The low-pressure weather system hovering over the East Coast.
3. The dryness in the house, despite the drizzle outside.
4. The traditional Polish Christmas carols playing in the background reminded me of my late father singing in the church choir, so I was too sad to focus.
5. After I switched to more modern Polish Christmas songs from a Spotify playlist, I was distracted by trying to understand the lyrics.
6. My daughter, with the gifted hands of someone who actually completed a college major in sculpture, was not there to help. (She’s way better at this than I am–does pierogi talent skip a generation?)
7. This is the first Christmas since my mom passed away, so I was too sad to focus. Or maybe, since I wasn’t using Mama’s recipe per se, she was haunting me by putting a curse on the dough.
8. I failed to have a shot of vodka before starting this whole damn thing.

Enjoyed: Friday, December 8, 2023

Listed on the menu: No, the menu had mostly “beach” type drinks, but bartender had a decent selection of bourbon and was happy to make me happy.

Ingredients: Woodford Reserve bourbon, simple syrup, angostura bitters, cherry, orange piece.

The occasion: Every December for the past several years, I plan a long weekend trip to put Husband and me in the mood for the upcoming holidays. This year I chose the Northern Neck of Virginia, and specifically the Kilmarnock area. We booked a festive yet cozy bed-and-breakfast for two nights. I found lovely activities for us, too: seafood restaurants; two wineries; an “illuminated” parade of boats and nautical-themed floats; a walk along the sandy shores of the Chesapeake Bay; a fishing museum; and a concert of Cajun holiday music by Beausoleil. Oh, and I finished my Christmas shopping.

My rating: *** out of 5. The Woodford is always tasty, but I would have preferred a touch more of simple syrup, which I could barely discern. Our affable bartender/part-time fisherman told me several times over that he would be tending bar in the main dining area later that night, where he had a few special simple syrups, and he suggested we return. I think he wanted to impress me, but the choices were limited since it was lunchtime. By dinnertime, however, the sun would already have been down, so depriving us of all the gorgeous views of the coves.

Final thoughts: Kilmarnock is a cute little town but full of retirees, we discovered. There are plenty of places to fish, golf, walk on a beach, sip wine, and eat seafood. We liked the quiet pace, but we won’t be moving there since so many businesses close for the winter, real estate prices are now through the roof, and the nearest big hospital is over an hour’s drive away. These are valid concerns for us! Happily, these Rappahannock River communities ship their amazing oysters all over the state, so we can easily re-live our memories.

Our daughter is the brave, bold woman that I once thought I was. She turned thirty a few weeks ago, and after much introspection, she quit her job in the hard cider industry–a career she had not foreseen but that flourished over the past eight years or so. That career took her across the country, to Washington State. But she told her dad and me that she felt she had not much more room for growth in the current job, and she wanted to try something new, something she felt passionate about, while she still had minimal personal and financial responsibilities. Of course, as her near-to-retirement parents, we are thinking pragmatically. “Will she be able to continue to fund her IRA? Will she have health insurance? Will she ever have enough money for a down payment on a house?” And then I hear her grandmother’s voice, “Will she ever move back to Virginia so that she can take care of you in your old age?”

Even as I write this, I am watching her flight progress across America on the airline’s website. Tonight, she arrives in Indianapolis to hang out with her aunt and uncle, and tomorrow she begins her new job, which initially will involve several weeks of travel throughout the USA and Canada. The details about this new job are her story to tell, so I won’t be saying more, for now. At her age, I was a wife of four years, a stay-at-home mom to a toddler, and a co-signer on a mortgage. I think the thirty-year-old me would be baffled at Daughter’s decisions, but also secretly jealous of her adventures-to-come. The sixty-plus-year-old me is somewhat envious of her adventures-to-come, but not at all baffled that the strong woman we know and love is making a life change.

Above all else, we are proud of Baby Girl, and we always keep her oh-so-close in our hearts.

Today’s cocktail is a combination I tried for the first time, and I liked it. This was also a great way to use the soft kiwis I found in the back of the refrigerator. In a blender, puree 2 peeled kiwis with 1/2 ounce fresh-squeezed lime juice, 1 1/2 ounces simple syrup, and 1 1/2 ounces gin. Strain, if desired. (I like the crunchy texture of kiwi seeds so I didn’t strain it.) Pour into a glass and top with 4 to 6 ounces of chilled watermelon-flavored sparkling water. Stir gently, so some bubbles remain.

Today would have been my mother’s 98th birthday. We lost her–well, we lost her physical presence with us here on Earth but I still hear her voice in my head every day–in April of this year. My sister and I were convinced that Mama was stubborn enough to hold on until her 100th birthday, but Mama was tired.

I’ve been thinking about her longevity, and wondering if I could be happy with thirty-plus years of being retired. If my health and my money last, maybe I could be. And I should probably re-evaluate some of my current life-style choices, like eating too much ice cream and having too many cocktails.

Mama rarely drank alcohol, but when she did, she liked sweet cordials and fruity wines. She also enjoyed meads made in Poland (known as miód pitny, “honey drinkable” in direct translation) which would come in glazed brown ceramic karafes that she would save to decorate the kitchen.

Today’s cocktail, therefore, uses spiced mead made locally (Black Heath Meadery in Richmond), since I wouldn’t know where to find the Polish product. In the prettiest glass you have, combine 1 teaspoon honey with 1 ounce rye whiskey. Stir until honey is mostly dissolved. Add 2 1/2 ounces of spiced mead, stir gently, and garnish with a lemon slice and maybe a chunk of candied ginger. No ice is needed, because it’s almost winter and cold drinks will give you a chill that may get you sick, as Mama would say.

I asked my children to write a few words about my mom, and this is part of what my daughter wrote: “Between our connection of art and your influence on our Polish culture, you helped shape me into the woman I am today, and I am forever grateful for that. Your presence will never be forgotten, and I’m proud to have called you my grandmother. May you live in eternal peace! Love you so much!” Perfect. Happy Birthday, Mama.

Today is our 35th wedding anniversary. We celebrated last night with these drinks, and then today with an elegant (and delicious) brunch at The Farmhouse at Veritas, one of our favorite wineries, in the beautiful mountains of Nelson County, Virginia. I lost track of how many flutes of sparkling wine I drank, and happily, Dear Husband knows my weakness and agreed to be Designated Driver. The sun was shining and the fall colors were glorious! We made wonderful memories to add to our ever-growing list.

I am sentimental, so I pay attention to special anniversaries. Twenty-five is silver, thirty is pearl, and thirty-five is coral. (I had to look up that one, admittedly.) I searched for a coral-colored cocktail for this weekend, and voila! The strawberries provided the color I wanted.

I added our “bride and groom bears” to the photo, since they were the decoration on top of our wedding cake. Our running joke is that our moms bonded over their mutual dissatisfaction about our decision to use these cuties. We thought the bears were unique and would add our own personal touch to at least one aspect of our big ol’ Polish wedding. Going forward, I should probably keep these bears in a prominent spot, to remind me to not interfere (too much) with the decisions our son and his fiancee will make for their celebration.

Today’s cocktail recipe makes drinks for two, of course:

In a blender, combine 3 ounces vodka, 2 ounces Malibu coconut rum, 10 frozen strawberries, and 2 teaspoons simple syrup. Pour into fluted glasses and chill, or else pour over ice.

A toast to all married couples! Cheers!

Enjoyed: Friday, September 29, 2023

Listed on the menu: No, since there was no menu per se, but a small sign did name the “Bride’s Cocktail” (Rum and Pineapple) and the “Groom’s Cocktail” (Whiskey Sour).

Ingredients: House bourbon (made in association with Buffalo Trace, said the bartender), simple syrup, angostura bitters, soda water, maraschino cherry, orange piece.

The occasion: My entire family had gathered to witness the wedding ceremony of our beautiful niece and goddaughter, Camie, to her beloved Adam. The drinks started pouring as the reception began, and we had ample toasts! And ample food and dancing and smiles!

My rating: ** out of 5. The bartender was alone, and making drinks for almost a hundred people. She appeared happy to make my request, but was heavy-handed on the ice and soda water, which diluted the cocktail too much. (Is this common at all open-bar situations? Cocktails don’t need to fill the entire glass for guests to be happy.) I should have tried a shot of the house bourbon, neat.

Final thoughts: Weddings are marvelous occasions. Camie is the first of our family’s next generation (i.e. my late parents’ grandchildren) to get married, and she did it in true style. Best wishes to the happy couple, and we look forward to toasting the next milestones in their life together.